When You’re Alone with Your Reflection

On December 21st, 2015, I posted a blog called There’s Someone YOU HAVE to Meet. I was in an elevator, and I looked at my reflection. I saw myself … in this “new” light that took me off guard. It was as if I could see myself through another person’s eyes and for a long time…I was actually proud of the person that I saw looking back at me.

Five years and twenty-eight days later, I can most definitely tell you that there is “another” person that looks back in that mirror now. Last year, I’m sure no one had planned for it. The entire world shut down due to the pandemic, and life as we knew it would never be the same. School, church, and majority of work places closed their doors, and human connection that was once taken for granted began to be longed for. We all were told to shelter in place, and for those of us that had to go outside or, as I call it, play “hide-and-go-seek” with a virus we can’t see. There is no doubt that this is a time for the history books.

So we were left to ourselves. Left to our thoughts. Left to face the matters of our hearts, the atmospheres we’ve created in our homes, the children we birthed, and the subconscious habits that were developed. Since March 15th, 2020, we have had 10 months to do some soul searching – not the patty-cake type, but the searching where Father Time handed us the shovels and told us to get to work. We really had to look at this person starring back at you in the mirror. My question is: what did you see? The better question is, who did you see?

Being left alone to ourselves can be a scary thought at times, but it can be an adventure if you allow yourself to open your heart for such a ride.

Being left alone to ourselves can be a scary thought at times, but it can be an adventure if you allow yourself to open your heart for such a ride. The Lord ever so graciously removed things that caused us not to prioritize time with Him, time with family, and most of all, time with ourselves. I’ve been reading this book called “Keeping Your Love On” by Danny Silk. It’s about relationships and how we can always look at others and what they do wrong in our eyes. This can cause us to take the option of shutting down, closing the door to open communication, and eventually walking away from relationships. I did not read this book as if I’m in a relationship with someone but how I handle my relationship with the Lord. In this book, he says that “Love is a choice,” and it is so powerfully displayed by Jesus choosing to die while we were YET sinners (Romans 5:8).

He points out in the book that people cannot answer two questions because they are rarely asked, let alone prioritize themselves to know how to communicate the answer. The first being, “How are you doing?” Sometimes we can rush and say, “Oh, I’m fine.” and brush off those who are genuinely concerned with the position of our hearts. We are so used to people rushing past moments of connection when someone asks, we can’t discern the authenticity. To that, I say…SLOW DOWN! Take a moment and truthfully answer the question.

The second question Danny says takes people by utter surprise is, “What do you need?” Most of us have grown past the point of crying, screaming, and throwing fits like arm babies who have not developed the vocabulary to say what they need, right? But, when was the last time you sat down and asked yourself, “What is it that I need right now?” We are now in a season of “a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecc. 3:5b), and what we need most is a hug – physical touch. Other times we simply need a laugh, time to ourselves, or to allow our mind to escape in a movie or book.

It’s the smallest things that keep our worlds together. In this pandemic…yes, the world has stopped, and yes, we must be cautious. But I beg of you to not stop living. You still have so much life to live!

So! This week, take some time to yourself and write down those two questions (How are you doing? What do you need?) and honestly answer them. You may be surprised at where your heart leads you.

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